Air Jordan Flight 9 The Art of Giving

325sufdhu

TAKERS
Takers are likely to be the third child in the family totem pole, the most indulged one, for whom life slides along a much easier path. Taking then becomes second nature, automatic. It's not designed to be self-serving necessarily. It can be totally unself-conscious. The more predatory type of taker of course is a different animal, often the second child, insecure and needy. Unwilling to risk rejection or trust love/friendship, the taker takes as a form of self-protection and fulfilment.
So said Kahlil Gibran. He lists three types of giver - the one who gives to get praise the one who gives for the pleasure of giving finally, the natural giver who can do nothing but give, is generous with everything and genuinely asks nothing in return.
I definitely belong in the second category as I have so much fun buying presents and doing things for people, it's just as much for me as the recipents.
GIVERS
Givers are very often the first child of a family, brought up to believe that they are responsible for others. As adults, they're always the first to volunteer when help is needed. The problem is that it can become compulsive and dangerously attached to self-value. I give, therefore I am a worthy human being. It's also a difficult thing to switch off. Giving can become overpowering to others and exhausting to the giver.
I finally broke out of this pattern when I realised that I was just hurting myself by giving too much, and for all the wrong reasons. I was just seeking approval. Yes, I was the eldest child, and yes,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I was brought up to believe that it's better to give than to receive,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and yes, I felt that my self-esteem was tied directly to the level of my giving. I know better now. I know that receiving is such a blessing, an act of love between the giver and the receiver.
I have one friend who is fabulous with gifts, praise, attention and suchlike but don't expect her to come to your aid in times of trouble. Another is the complete reverse - she routinely forgets my birthday, is totally unsentimental yet is the first one I'll go to when I need help of any kind. What I'm basically saying is each of us gives in our own unique way.
THE PAIN OF GIVING
It never occurs to the giver that they could be doing anything wrong. I speak from personal experience. I thought I was being a terrific person because I gave and gave till it hurt. My motives were not as pure as I thought they were at the conscious level. Under the surface, I was longing for recognition and praise.
`You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.'
Look at me, look at how hard I'n trying, look at how much I sacrifice, how much I do for you. Unfortunately, when you're a giver, you naturally attract takers and takers don't tend to appreciate or reciprocate. This in turn grew into resentment, anger and even bitterness. I simply couldn't understand the lack of awareness in my friends and family members to whom I was showering all this attention. I exhausted myself then when no-one noticed or seemed to care, I would fall into a great crevasse of self-pity. Why was no-one there when I finally need help, I would ask myself. It was a very unhealthy and frustrating cycle which continued for many years.
What turned it around for me was wonderful analogy offered by a colleague. She asked me to imagine myself as a rainwater tank. If I were to keep emptying o
Most of us classify ourselves as givers or takers yet the truth lies in the middle somewhere. For example, think about your friends - are they all giving in the same way, and are the takers all completely selfish?
Is it better to give or receive? Is it better to be a giver or a taker? How much giving is too much?
I once was told by an adviser that as a giver,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I could never be a taker but needed to learn how to receive. A lovely distinction. Givers find it harder to be given than takers to give, I think. Let's talk about these two profiles for a bit.